More on Infertility

I don’t know if I have mentioned, but I belong to an online community called The Bump, more specifically the Trouble Trying to Conceive board. I have found on there a thing called the common thread bracelet, basically this is a common piece of thread that women who are experiencing or have experienced infertility. Here is the information about the bracelets and the idea behind it. http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/2006/09/history-of-infertilitys-common-thread.html.

            I plan to add a turtle to mine; it is the mascot for TTC board also there is a patron Saint named Sarah. She is the ST. for infertility and I have found a charm that I like to go with it, not cheap, but definitely worth it!

            It is snowing now and I am actually able to spend the day inside watching it. I’m also planning a movie night with the husband tonight, I bought movie theater popcorn and some candy. I think that with all the stress that goes along with infertility you really need to stop and spend time with your husband/partner. You need to keep the romance alive. Sometimes I become so consumed with our baby troubles that I forget Jon is hurting too and we need this time to be romantic.

A little something for me :)

I just scheduled a massage for myself and I must say I am pretty damn excited, I have never had one and for a full hour it is only 15 bucks! (I have $25 off) anyways I think this will help with the muscle problem I have been having. I am also going to schedule a couple’s massage for Jon and I for our anniversary!

            Anyways I have been a little out of sorts the past couple of days because it is the end of yet again another cycle. My sister in law has been calling and wants me to hang out, but really I don’t want to hang out with other people and their kids when I myself am going on to yet another cycle. She can be mad but honestly I just don’t care I want to be by myself and not around kids. I love my nieces and my sister in law, but it’s just how I feel. I know I could never tell her this because she just wouldn’t understand because she didn’t have problems getting pregnant like Jon and I are having.  Once I move on from this cycle to another one I will probably get out of this funk.     

            I was just thinking the other day I really hope when I am put on hormones I won’t say the things that I vent about in here, out loud.

what are you going through? Books that should be written

My mother and I were talking last week on the ride home from Zumba about the upcoming treatments Jon and I will hopefully be going through. No one wants to go through this or have trouble having kids so I say hopefully thinking that we will finally have a baby. Anyways she said that she heard that women who go through treatment and have to take all these hormones go through a lot of mood swings and she would like to read a book about it to see what I will be going through and how she can help. I have not found any books offering this kind of help so she might have to learn through this with me or I will write up a paper talking about it.

            So this got me thinking, why are there books telling you how you should act around an infertile friend but nothing that talks about what they are actually going through and what the different medications and surgeries might do to your loved ones. Maybe when I get through this I will write a book for families who want to go through this with their loved ones.

            Not much different on the baby front I am starting to spot at only 8 dpo and yes this is a problem when you need to get to at least 10dpo without a period to maintain or even get pregnant. When we start treatment this will be addressed and fixed by having progesterone supplements shoved up my hoo-ha…oh joy.  I also have been having really bad hip pain, at first I thought it was because I am fat and need to lose weight, well I have started losing weight and I work out and the pain is worse so I think it might be a little more than that. I have to physically pick up and move people sometimes for work and I think I threw out my lower back. This is causing lower back pain that is spreading out to my hips. This crap hurts so I hope to be going to a chiropractor who can crack and bend me back into proper alignment.  

Losing weight and other trials and tribulations

I just checked my BMI and saw I was out of the obese section and am now in over weight instead yay!! No I am not that excited, I need to get into a more healthy range before J and I start treatments in April when our insurance starts so I am going back on Weight Watchers and have added 2 miles on the treadmill in the morning where I’m running/ walking, and then about an hour of Zumba a night, at this rate I will hopefully lose the weight and be close to my goal weight for pregnancy.

J and I attended his company Christmas party last night it was a lot of fun! His father, brother and my father all work for the same Dry walling company so it was nice to all go together. There was a lot of drinking and dancing oh and the food was to die for! So that was nice to have a little fun time because our (well at least mine) minds are so full of infertility worries and thinking about getting the land ready for house building this summer.

My sister in law did leave early because of her girls and said two things that really struck a nerve 1) kids come first so we couldn’t stay, this bothers me because yes I am sensitive, but she knows our struggles and I think it feels like she is rubbing it in my face sometimes that she has the happy complete family and we do not. And 2) she knows when we are starting treatments in April and that it would make a due date around the holiday party, she kept telling everyone we should get a hotel room down there next year with no kids. I probably won’t be able to go and she didn’t even consider that yea if things go according to plan we would be pregnant and not able to stay. It may not make sense to anyone reading this, but she knows our troubles and honestly I don’t think she can relate so she doesn’t realize when insensitive things come out of her mouth.

Anyway enough with the negativity, I’m just hoping this is our year!

               

Small Victorys

I called the insurence company that my husband and I will be transfering to in April to see if everything was a go for Infertility insurence and she eased my mind and told me yes they would still cover me. Mass is one of the oly states that carries Infertility insurence and we live in New Hampshire so it was a big deal to see if we are covered. A lot of what we plan to do next depends on coverage. So like I said small victorys!